Gisele Bundchen says she once considered suicide

"I actually had the feeling of, 'If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end,'" the model recalled.

Gisele Bundchen said in her memoir she contemplated killing herself after experiencing severe panic attacks. File Photo by John Angelillo/UPI

By Annie Martin, UPI

Gisele Bundchen says she considered suicide during her early career.

The 38-year-old Brazilian model said in her memoir, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life, that she contemplated killing herself after experiencing severe panic attacks in the 2000s.

"Inevitably when I think back to a time in my early twenties, I remember that I felt so helpless that I questioned whether I wanted to live," she wrote, according to Radar Online.

Bundchen had her first panic attack during in a turbulent plane ride in 2003 and developed a fear of enclosed spaces. Her anxiety seeped into her everyday life, making her feel "powerless."

"I actually had the feeling of, 'If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in,'" she said, according to People.

The former Victoria's Secret model told People she wrote about the experience in her book to share her vulnerabilities with fans.

"Things can be looking perfect on the outside, but you have no idea what's really going on," she said. "I felt like maybe it was time to share some of my vulnerabilities, and it made me realize, everything I've lived through, I would never change."

Bundchen is married to NFL star Tom Brady and is parent to two children, 8-year-old son Benjamin and 5-year-old daughter Vivian, with the New England Patriots quarterback. She said in an Instagram post in July that writing her memoir was a "transformative and intense" process.

"Uncovering stories deep inside of me made me feel vulnerable and emotional, but through facing my shadows and insecurities I learned how to accept and love myself in a deeper way," the star wrote.

"My intention in writing this book is to share how I overcame certain challenges in my life in hopes that it could help other who may be going thru similar experiences," she added.

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I am excited to share that my book will be released October 2nd! Writing this book was a transformative and intense process for me. Uncovering stories deep inside of me made me feel vulnerable and emotional, but through facing my shadows and insecurities I learned how to accept and love myself in a deeper way. My intention in writing this book is to share how I overcame certain challenges in my life in hopes that it could help others who may be going thru similar experiences. Proceeds from the book will go to project Água Limpa, to help protect water sources for future generations. http://bit.ly/PreOrderLessons 📖 Feliz em compartilhar que meu livro sairá no dia 2 de outubro! Escrever esse livro foi uma experiência transformadora e intensa para mim. Lembrar de várias histórias que estavam adormecidas dentro de mim me fez sentir vulnerável e emotiva, mas, ao olhar para minhas sombras e inseguranças, aprendi a me aceitar e me amar de uma maneira mais profunda. Minha intenção, ao escrever este livro, é compartilhar como eu superei certos desafios em minha vida, com a esperança de que possa ajudar de alguma forma outras pessoas que estivessem passando por experiências semelhantes. Meus rendimentos deste livro irão ao projeto Água Limpa, que ajuda a proteger as fontes de água para futura gerações.

A post shared by Gisele Bündchen (@gisele) on Jul 19, 2018 at 4:47am PDT